I want to be a better person

I want to be the change I’ve seen in the people around me.

One of my lecturers told me I lacked self-discipline. In the face. He wore a stern look and firmly asked me why I had been late for JAE (joint admissions exercise). I looked into his eyes and I saw disappointment. My heart trembled, tears were welling up and I thought, Why does he always look at me that way? Why is he so mean? Whatever, it’s okay to be late. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.

As he continued to speak, something sparked within me and I thought I caught fire. No I wasn’t embarrassed because there was so many people around me – everyone was too busy being involved in the competition for the top course in TES – it was realisation setting me on fire! 

I’m still always late for everything! If I’ve been trying to be punctual as and when I wanted, then I haven’t actually suceeded in becoming a punctual person! I recall having promised myself, after a very unfortunate incident, that I wouldn’t be late for anything. Yes I have been punctual every now and then… but they don’t count. Everything in life has to be consistent otherwise it would have little significant impact or result.

Like swimming. If I swam occassionally, I wouldn’t swim as fast as I usually could if I’d trained on a consistent basis e.g. 4 times a week.


  • I don’t want G to call me Miss Late anymore.
  • I don’t want to be caught wearing slippers in class during Labs and then ‘Cut Class n’ Cry in the toilet’.
  • I don’t want to be late for jamming and feel so guilty because I delayed everyone by an hour.
  • I don’t want to be told off by some guy that I’ve got attitude problems and that late people like me wouldn’t be able to find a job in the future. (Dear H.K, I’m not referring to you. I’m glad you were honest with me 🙂 )
  • I don’t want to send anyone wrong signals.
  • I don’t want to run away from my problems because it just makes me feel even more depressed.

I want to be like

  • my punctual classmates,
  • my dilligent father,
  • my tolerant mother,
  • my kind brother,
  • my understanding-happy-go-lucky-spirited lifesaving team mates,  
  • my monk who is always there,
  • the confident spunky frontwoman Hayley Williams,
  • the intelligent Natalie Portman and lastly,

I want to keep learning, keep believing in God, never lose hope so I will have that power to change

Wah Lights inspired me to post this man. SINGGGGG THE LAST THING ON YOUR MINDDDDD

  1. monk said:

    Halo ditz your entry makes me happy and sad at the same time. I’m not being sarcastic (the way you ALWAYS think I am) neither am I ripping off the What-to-say-to-a-sick-person webby, but I really believe you can change if you try your best. Remember you’re the smartaye and I’m the bimbs (So NOT, but I’m giving it to you this time) and I have faith in you. You must show people you’re not Little Miss Late, just Little Miss Ditzy 🙂

    ilu! Even though you laughed very hard and created a dance, when you know you suck at dancing, after knowing that I have exams _|_

    “If I had a middle finger I’d point it”
    “Sam you do have a middle finger.”

  2. M.y said:

    HAHA I remember a conversation very long ago between an anal stressed organiser and a breezy, relaxed friend.

    Stressed person: “Eh walk faster leh! People waiting for us leh.”

    Breezy friend, *surprised* “Oh, only twenty minutes ah, you all quite on about puncutality ah.”

    HAHA I dunno if you can rmb when this exchange took place but definitely when things were alot more different… uh huh. LOL


    Just let me know if you need a wake up call in the morningsss

  3. Gawaine said:

    A bad habit’s like a comfortable bed. . . Easy to get into. . . But hard to get out of. . .

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