Why I did it, again.

I don’t know what they think of me. That is the most chilling, most deadful riddle of all. To have always believed that they were the greatest, inspiring and talented crew I felt I could finally fit in with. The first few months of knowing everyone was amazing. Then perplexities I could not handle (with no one there, with no one there…) they got embrangled and grew complex… I thought You were my friend.

The only help they could provide, was to help identify my darkside… And they thought I was finally seeing some morning light.  Instead I was seeing more blotches of black… And I was so scared. But they didn’t help identify that.

Like a hysterical weeping runaway, vision blurred by tearful eyes… I was running into those black blotches, like running into the thickest wall of spider webs and I fought to keep the tiniest beams of light in sight.

And when I finally managed a hole wide enough to hope, I saw their gleaming eyes! I saw them smiling! They were so encouraging! Then their eyes turned black and I let go, free-falling into the  deepest blackhole… They didn’t hold out their hands. 

I thought You were my friend.


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