All the things you said to me are replaying themselves mercilessly and I still cannot come to terms with everything that has happened. Your words could really be the ultimate pick-up lines you joked about getting from magazines and that have crafted you into the greatest sycophant to ever walk the face of the earth. To think I’m still waiting for my phone to ring, so I’ll finally hear the explanation I’m hoping to get. I’m trying to be strong. Yet I find that, the more I struggle to put up a happy front, which is very much the opposite of what I’m feeling inside, the weaker I become. I’m hurting, and no one knows how painful it is. My foolishness has made the biggest mockery out of me. This is the worst punishment I’ve ever received and having invested so much love, I totally asked for it. Life is so full of shit.
Thank you for being by my side as much as you could 24/7. You’ve helped me through these awful nights and I’m at a loss of how to thank you for everything. I know the sacrifices you’re making and this is something I really never had. Your love for me is beyond unbelievable. It’s amazing how a friend can show so much genuine care and affection. And I know I ought to be living for the better things in life, like you.
I can do this.
I’ve learned. I’ll emerge stronger. And I’ll never allow myself to be misled again.