Untainted & Blessed.

you know what God said? God says i’m beautiful, and He knows my beauty, because He created me. i knew from that moment onwards, i’m truely beautiful when i’m the jun God created. when i’m the me He intends me to be all this while. nothing to do with whether i wear my spects, nothing to do with my clothes, my shoes. it’s about being the person God created me to be. i got reminded, day to day, i fight. fight for wat? fight to be the person God created me to be. fight to know what kinda person God created me to be. it’s not the jun that you all see everyday. that’s the one who is a mixture of who God created to be and the one who decides for herself who she wants to be. it’s a whole new discovery of my life, when i’m 17 years old, and i realise, i haven’t been behaving like jun all these years. not the jun that God created to be.

you know, all those troubles and struggles i get into, it’s because i face resistance. this natural reluctance of the flesh to obey and be the one God created me to be. i feel i’m starting to get a glimpse of the jun God created. it’s not easy and i’m far from it. so far, so far from perfection. so so far.

i know why am i special, i know what are the gifts He has given to me. i know what i have that others don’t have. no, i don’t want to be the person i decide to be. that will be a lousy person. i will make lousy decisions, i will hate, i will have my attitude, i will go my own way, i will be selfish, damn selfish, i will suck, i will screw up. i want to be the person God created me to be.

that is jun.”

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