i feel really sick now. just vomitted dinner. God …

i feel really sick now.
just vomitted dinner.
God why do they have to leave.

xedo. sibbie.
i can’t lose you.
4 years already.
no..

i really hate my life.
if only i could live a simple life.
and have a simple mind.
i don’t wish to be knowlegable
it won’t be of any use to me if i died.
i’d go to heaven.
knowledge is redundant in heaven.

i hate school
i regret taking being so ambitious.
firstly i’ve drifted from God.
then my friends.
then my family.
then XEDO AND SIBBIE.

i only realise how much my loved ones
can mean to much to me
once they’re being taken away from my life.

i love them.
i really do.
it pains me to see them caged up.
so i let them roam.
but my parents dislike that.

aunty delphine and uncle alvin (my 4th floor cat-lover neighbours)
will do a scan up for me
to ensure that the guy who want my darlings
will take good care of them.
but the moron lives in jurong.
oops sorry.
but you’re taking my cats away.
MORON.

but the guy might be able to take better care of them
then i can.
sighs.
Father please help me
by making sure my intuition is spot on.
by making sure the feeling’s right.
like when i buy clothes.
just that this is a more important decision.

sighs.
i don’t like going to school tomorrow.
i wanna cry all night tonight.
but there’s common tests and tutorials.
damn.
can’t go to school with puffy eyes ah.
i’ll continue crying for now first.

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